OOPS

I don't get many questions on this blog, but I get a few over the occasional glass of wine and I thought this answer merited sharing... my friend was facing a hard decision and afraid that he would make the wrong choice. Enough preamble, this is the email I sent him the next day (parenthetical added.)

Last night I parted with the observation that you cannot make mistakes… and upon reflection that seems a bit ambiguous.

What I mean is I don’t much like the concept of mistake…. Assigning blame and recrimination for past actions.

If you listen to your heart, are honest with yourself and make the best decision you can at the time you have done your work. The decision you make may or may not bring the results you desire, but even if it causes WWIII it is not a “mistake”, and especially less so if you take the opportunity to review your decision making process, challenge the assumptions that underlay it and look to find your blindsides that lead to your decision…. In other words, you make it a learning experience.. or an afgo. (Another Fucking Growth Opportunity.... read the book)

So let go of the concept that you can make a mistake here. It places too much stress and front ends too much culpability for a circumstance which is not entirely in your control. In short, the fear of making a mistake will cloud your judgment. You have to make a decision, and the better man understands that he will live with the consequences of that decision, good or bad, because the decision was his to make and he made it freely.

Use the tools you have, make the decision, let go of your expectations and see what happens.