There’s an article in the Daily Texan that reports on a UT study which concludes that men look to curvy body types for a one night stand, but to facial features when considering long term relationships… here’s the methodology:
“Participants were asked to look at an image and decide whether they would consider this person for a one-night stand or a marriage partner, but the image was covered by two boxes. In order to make their decisions, they were allowed to uncover only one box; either the face or the body,”
The researchers found that there was a correlation between checking out the bods and opting for one night stands, and another between checking out the face and long term relationships.
One night stand equals instant gratification, and the idea of maximizing the utility of that instant gratification probably equates with a bigger concern for the toys available. If you are told you’re just choosing for the night, of course you’re going to check out the equipment.
But when opting for “long term relationship” the guys checked out the face. Maybe they were looking good genes, maybe they were looking for soul in the eyes, maybe they were looking for someone who looked like their mother, but the fact is that these men, when choosing a mate for life, looked at the face and not the goodies. That speaks well of men.
But the team “concluded that men categorize women with attractive, curvy bodies as short-term partners, whereas a woman with a pretty face would more likely be considered for a long-term relationship”
Call me crazy, but I think there’s are some underlying prejudices in the conclusion: one is that men are shallow sex machines, and another is that there is something less than meritorious in being sexually attractive.
The key here is that the men were given two options: one night stand, long term relationship.
I don’t know why the researchers chose to characterize the behavior as “curvy bodies equal short term”… which suggest to this reader a slightly pejorative view of both the men and the curvy bodies… sort of a cross between the meme in the horror movies it’s always the sexualy active girls who get killed off first and the constant conflict between the intellectual and the sensual.
The point is they could have just as easily interpreted the data to show that when men are asked to select life mates they don’t act like the dogs they are often thought to be but actually look past the wrapping. So why the negative spin? It could just be good marketing. Sex sells, thoughtful doesn’t, but it could be something more, an echo of the bad choices we make in our relationships.
So often in our relationships, especially when they are in trouble, when we are presented with an action… let’s say you’re taking in the groceries, she’s in front and the door closes behind her, locking you out, forcing you to juggle the bags and generally inconveniencing you.
There are a myriad of explanations:
she did it on purpose because she still mad about (fillintheblank);
she didn’t do it intentionally, but she sure didn’t act to correct it because she doesn’t care;
this is just another example of what a inconsiderate (fillintheblank) she is; or maybe…
she was struggling with her groceries and didn’t notice; or maybe…
there was a guy with a gun in the kitchen and she just saved your life; or maybe …
it was just an accident.
You don’t know why, you’re just guessing, but the truth is you will make that guess and then act on it as if it were the truth. So more than likely you’ll go into the kitchen irritated, resentful, and your relationship will take another hit.
The thing is we can interpret our spouse's behavior any way we want… just like the UT people did… but why do we so often choose the negative interpretation to believe? This is the better man: if given the opportunity to opt for a base, mean and otherwise unfavorable motivation for a choice his partner has made and a good, positive, and favorable reason, the better man opts for the positive choice.
Be the better man.
